#3 SEX!!!!

Sexual discussion of polyamory lands somewhere between assuming bisexuals are promiscuous and asking a trans person what their genitals look like: If you’re not fucking them, then it’s none of your fucking business! But, hey, since the question’s out there, let’s talk about it. Fuck it.

“Do you all have group sex?”

This tired misconception of orgies and group sex is unique to every construct and, again, none of your business if you’re not part of it. Think about how awkward the first sexual encounter is between most pairs of people. Now add another two multipliers of awkward, first by adding someone, and then by adding the breach of the “sex is between two people” social norm. Group sex is incredibly awkward between even three people, and I highly recommend that at least one of those partners has slept with each of the other two so that they can referee, as it were.

Despite how awkward adding more than two to the bedroom (or couch or table or wherever) can be, if everyone is on the same page it can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. Communication is key, both in the moment and to establish overarching context. For example, a couple who’s found their unicorn may find themselves rather startled when the unicorn takes a liking to one partner, is significantly more intimate, and steps out of their tertiary role. (Yes, this week’s Thursday post will discuss Unicorn Hunting).