#4 Metamours: Open vs Closed

Once you open or add to your relationship, you may start dating someone new together, or you may keep your own individual relationships relatively separate. A metamour is, most simply, “The partner of my partner.” Sometimes these people become friends, sometimes they become lovers, sometimes they just give each other a comradic nod in the foyer. Having metamours that get along is always a plus, but not always required. Relationships with and between metamours can be complicated, and for the purpose of this discussion we’ll be using a three-person vee as an example.

Open versus Closed relationships

Negotiations between partners both determine and depend on their relationship structure. If Pat and Drew have a closed relationship and Drew begins dating Alex, Pat is going to have a much more of a say than if Pat and Drew had an open relationship. That’s right, “nonmonogamy” and “open relationship” are not synonymous! Basically a closed nonmonogamous relationship means that everyone already involved has a say in bringing anyone new into the fold. For more information, check out my Relationship Matrix.