#4 SEX!!!!

Sexual discussion of polyamory lands somewhere between assuming bisexuals are promiscuous and asking a transperson what their genitals look like: If you’re not fucking them, then it’s none of your fucking business! But, hey, since the question’s out there, let’s talk about it. Fuck it.

“What do you do about stds?”

I love when monogamous people ask me this, because I simply reply, “What do YOU do about them?” and watch them stutter. Condoms, obviously! Male condoms, usually. Female condoms too. Birth control and protection are two different things! Hormonal birth control, vasectomies, tubal ligations, and spermicide don’t protect you from STDs. Physical barriers and vaccines do! Dental dams, male and female condoms, HPV and other STD vaccines are all important tools to use together in making sure you and your partners and their partners are safe. In other words, they are integral to Ethical Nonmonogamy and Polyamory.

But, most importantly, GET TESTED REGULARLY. Even if you are asymptomatic! For monogamous people it’s a good idea to get tested between every partner (serial monogamists can be cheated on, after all). For polyamorous or open people, testing every 6 months is advised, though this can become costly. Fluid bonded partners may stagger their STD tests to save money.