#3 Orientations and Choices Primer: Gender, Sexuality, Romantic, and Relationship Structures

This article also inspired me to post a series discussing the basic differences between gender, sexual orientation, romantic orientation, and relationship structures. As followers may have noticed, I try to post things related to all non-cishetmono communities, and through keeping abreast of all these facets I’m noticing that belonging to one non-mainstream group doesn’t guarantee any understanding of other non-mainstream groups. So, I’m going to take a crack at defining the different facets of human existence in western society.

What are the flavors of…Gender?

So, after the last two monstrosities, I promise today’s post will be simpler.

Gender Identity is how you feel.

Gender Expression is how you present yourself.

Neither have anything to do with your parts, and they don’t have to coincide with each other. For example, someone whose gender identity is a flavor of nonbinary may choose a binary gender expression for a variety of reasons, such as stealth (not outing themselves) or cost (seriously, queer hairstyles are EXPENSIVE). Additionally, a transgender person may decide not to transition their wardrobe (Expression), but still Identify as their opposite.

Gender Expression is not just achieved through looks. Sometimes, someone in a dress can be presenting every social cue possible that they feel masculine, and the only reason they are seen as presenting feminine is that society can’t get over males wearing dresses the same way it got over females wearing pants. Like children’s toys, clothing shouldn’t have a gender assigned.

And if you’re wondering what the gender binary is, stay tuned for Thursday’s post.