#4 Orientations and Choices Primer: Gender, Sexuality, Romantic, and Relationship Structures

This article also inspired me to post a series discussing the basic differences between gender, sexual orientation, romantic orientation, and relationship structures. As followers may have noticed, I try to post things related to all non-cishetmono communities, and through keeping abreast of all these facets I’m noticing that belonging to one non-mainstream group doesn’t guarantee any understanding of other non-mainstream groups. So, I’m going to take a crack at defining the different facets of human existence in western society.

What are the flavors of… Romantic Orientation?

Many, many people have trouble separating romantic and sexual attraction. Were they the same thing, porn would not be a multibillion dollar industry. Were they the same thing, hook-up culture would not be so prevalent. Were they the same thing, aromantics would not have sex and asexuals would not have relationships. I will even go so far to say that were they the same thing, heterosexuals could not have deeply fulfilling relationships with people of the same sex. Others, particularly aromantics, may even go so far as to say that romance is not necessary to intimate, fulfilling relationships. This all depends on whether you define romance by the social construct and media tropes around it, or use the term “romance” to refer to your relationships and partners. If you use it to refer to the latter, then “romantic” orientation is just as varied as sexual orientation, and although they appear to often match up, some people may form intimate relationships and sexual relationships with different categories of people and parts. Thus, I present Intimacy Orientation as an alternative term.