#3 Coming Out As Poly

“Coming out” seems to have become an umbrella term for telling anyone that you are anything other than a model citizen of the 1950s. The act can be anywhere from outright rebellious confrontation to subdued, intimate sharing. When coming out in any context, it’s best to consider the Who, When, and Why of it. Why do you come out? To stick it to “the man”? To stick it to your conservative parents? To stick it to your partner’s or partners’ disapproving parents? Vindicating as these may seem, I don’t think I’d recommend weaponizing your love or relationship structures. Supporting your partner in the face of strictly traditional parents is one thing. Forcing them to fight those parents is completely different. Also, not all relationship structures are everyone’s business. Sexually open relationships may not affect your social or family life enough to tell your parents or your kids that you and your partner sleep with other people occasionally. Polyamorous relationships may not need to be presented at face value to your child’s parochial school: having “a family friend” instead of “mom number two” pick them up might be easier on everyone involved.