#1 Metamours: The Introduction

Once you open or add to your relationship, you may start dating someone new together, or you may keep your own individual relationships relatively separate. A metamour is, most simply, “The partner of my partner.” Sometimes these people become friends, sometimes they become lovers, sometimes they just give each other a comradic nod in the foyer. Having metamours that get along is always a plus, but not always required. Relationships with and between metamours can be complicated, and for the purpose of this discussion we’ll be using a three-person vee as an example.

How do I introduce myself to my metamour?

“Hi, I’m [name],” is usually the way to go for any introduction. If your partner is introducing the two of you, you might be able to skip that part. The next part can take any tack you would with a friend or potential network individual. If you want to worry them, add, “I’ve heard so much about you!” but make sure you do it humorously and acknowledge that they’ve probably heard so much about you, too. This opens up the discussion about the relationship you’re both in. If you aren’t in a setting where you can discuss the relationship, or just aren’t ready to, lead in with something your shared partner has mentioned: “I hear you do___ for work, and I think that’s really cool,” or “I heard you guys playing __ game online last night. Our partner keeps telling me it’s about ___ but what’s your take?” In the famous book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” asking others about themselves is touted as one of the best ways to endear yourself to them. Making sure it’s a topic you can both relate to is even more important since that sets up the rest of the conversation.