#2 Metamours: Becoming Friendly

Once you open or add to your relationship, you may start dating someone new together, or you may keep your own individual relationships relatively separate. A metamour is, most simply, “The partner of my partner.” Sometimes these people become friends, sometimes they become lovers, sometimes they just give each other a comradic nod in the foyer. Having metamours that get along is always a plus, but not always required. Relationships with and between metamours can be complicated, and for the purpose of this discussion we’ll be using a three-person vee as an example.

How do I get along with them?

What if we don’t get along?

Simply put, you don’t have to be friends with your metamour, but you should be able to be cordial. I don’t say “be able” as a judgement of your tolerance, but because the people that someone dates should naturally share a few things in common: usually things their common partner values. That’s right: polyamory isn’t always about filling in different partners’ gaps. If you find nothing else in common, the shared interest in seeing your partner happy should motivate you to stay cordial and respectful of each other’s time with your hinge partner.